My Days Of Recovery

My Story: Blind Ambition

2011-05-03T15:42:00.002-07:00

This is a story that I wrote that I want to share with you all. I think it has a good message that I wanted to include when I was writing it. Enjoy everybody!

Carrie gazed out over the sea as far as her eyes could take her. Watching the calm, rippling waves lap against the shore and the laughter among families, she couldn’t help but long for the sensation of love, joy, and fellowship she felt so long ago.

A warm breeze fluttered through her dirty blonde hair, exposing her captivating crystal eyes as she spread out on her beach towel. Anybody who ever looked into those blue eyes would say that you feel like you’re looking deep inside her soul; just like looking into an ice cube and seeing straight through it.

Almost every day, Carrie Buick would relax on the Florida beach marveling over what the next step will be. She was 22, had graduated college a couple months earlier, and was searching for a fitted career. Job searching was not one of her strengths, especially since she had no idea what to pursue.

She headed toward the Farmer’s Market. Since her parents had died when she was 10, “Mr. Eddie”, a fruit vendor, had taken Carrie in as his own. Eddie Montessori had been around ever since she could remember. Mary and John Buick, her parents, were his first loyal customers from the very beginning and over the years they became extremely close. He had one son who chose to stay with his mother after their divorce
.
“There you are!” Eddie exclaimed as she meandered through the crowd, toward his stand.
“How did you know it was me?”

Recently the doctors declared Eddie as legally blind, seeing only shadows. He was 82, so it was predicted to happen sometime since his health was in such bad shape. Nothing stopped him from doing his job; even going blind. The loyalty and support of his old customers kept him going every day and Carrie admired him for that.

“I could smell your,” he paused to sniff the air, “coconut sunscreen from a mile away!”

Giggling, she bit into a granny smith apple and hopped into a camping chair. Eddie was the only person in the world who could make her laugh. That’s why she loved him.

“How come you’ve lost so much and still are so happy?” She wondered, her eyes focused on his every move.

“Because, I have so much through what I’ve lost.” He smiled at her, through his sightless eyes enjoying the damp, salty airflow through his silver hair.

“Oh, you’re no help these days!” She packed up the stuff and grabbed her purse, “Well I better get back to my apartment. I’ll wait until Diana comes.”

Diana owned her own assisted living business and helped Eddie with basically anything. She offered to sell for him at the Farmer’s Market, but he refused to give it all up.

Once Diana arrived, Carrie turned to leave. Patting his soft, wrinkled hands she said, “See you tomorrow morning, my friend!”

Although Eddie was aged, he could still remember everything from the constant banter of his customers and from Carrie’s conversations with him every day. So he yelled back with his raspy voice, “No, you won’t! Remember? You have that newspaper job interview!”
“Oh, right! Thanks Mr. Eddie! See you in a couple days!”

The sunshine disappeared Monday morning and was replaced with a somber, mournful scene. The clouds filled the sky; you could barely see even a streak of sunlight. _Why is today so tranquil if I have such good news? The sky should be congratulating me with some sun._ Carrie thought as she sprinted the last block to the Farmer’s Market. She just couldn’t wait to tell Mr. Eddie the phenomenal news that she received a phone call that morning announcing she could take the newspaper position; what was waiting for her there was a great surprise. Eddie was not there! He had NEVER missed a day in Carrie’s memory. Why now? Her excited, dazzling eyes now transformed into anxious, restless ones as she searched the area. She knew what she had to do.

Dashing to her car, any outsider could clearly see the tense in her shoulders. Her trench coat was trailing behind her, a tear trickled down her cheek, and she started to cry. _Why did this have to happen? Oh, please don’t let it be what I think it is. Please don’t die on me_. Frantic now, she drove like a maniac to the Memorial Hospital.

“Ma’am,” a woman called to Carrie at the front desk of the hospital, “Eddie Montessori is on the third floor. Are you family?”

“Practically, may I see him?”

Seeing the urgency in Carrie’s eyes, the woman escorted her to the third floor. Diana was sitting next to the hospital bed, rubbing Eddie’s hands when Carrie stepped in the room.

“He’s had a stroke. The doctors said he won’t last long.” Diana looked guilty and ashamed.

With that, Carrie had to get away to the beach like always. She drove her silver Volvo as fast as it could go. When she finally arrived to the beach, she saw that the waves thrashed angrily about the ocean and the coast was completely deserted. It was a depressing setting which made her heart ache even more. Burying her feet under the grains of sand, Carrie placed her head on her knees and sobbed her heart out.

Eddie and Carrie’s last conversation was all a blur to her, but eventually it swept over her and something lit up inside her like a light bulb. A flashback of their last conversation ran through her mind. “How come you’ve lost so much and still are so happy?” She had said on that perfect Saturday morning. “Because. I have so much through what I’ve lost.” Eddie had answered. It was so clear now; his answer made perfect sense. He wouldn’t have Diana if he weren’t blind, he probably wouldn’t be a fruit vendor if he had his son to care for, and he wouldn’t have Carrie if John and Mary Buick hadn’t gotten in a car accident. Although she hated to admit it, Carrie knew that statement was true in every way.

Eddie passed away that morning and Carrie turned down the newspaper opportunity to run his fruit stand. Although it took her so long to figure it out, Carrie found herself. She found her new love and she appreciated what she had through all that she had lost.

Beauty in the Desert

2011-01-10T22:01:00.009-07:00

I remember the very first day that I found out that we were leaving our house, and everything we owned due to a toxic mold exposure. Little did I know that my family and I were later going to be leaving Colorado completely, losing all of our connections and friends, and moving to a whole other state. It was a very dark time in my life. Everything was turning so chaotic and confusing. Moving here was such a change, and we weren't fully aware of what we had gotten ourselves into, or of how sick we really were.

At first, Arizona was gray and somber compared to the lives that we had built for ourselves back at home. It was a perfect example of what our lives were like, and seemed that nobody was the same person that they once were.. We were coping the best we could, coming from such a trauma, with supplements and such, but that wasn't enough for our situation.

Little by little, after we started to recover, Arizona started to feel more and more lively and colorful, in a very desert-like way. We ("we" meaning my mom, because she did all the research ) learned new things about ways to recover, and it took us about 1 year and 1/2 to get to we are today.

One day I went on a hike with some of the family, and, suddenly, in the middle of all of the cacti and desert brush I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful flower blooming from a bush. I was astonished that in the center of unappealing desert, was this one little beauty that made all the difference, and I was even more surprised to find more.

That is exactly what is happening through this road that we're on. In the midst of all of the hard times, there are so many good things that come out of it like a flower in the middle of a desert.

The bible says that there is a season for everything, and this is our season for healing; now that I look back, I can see so many beauties about the most difficult times of my life, just like beauty in the desert.

1 Month on a Diet

2010-08-30T09:50:00.010-07:00

Throughout this whole experience, my family has tried several new things to make the healing process a little faster. In this past month, I would say we took the biggest step by starting a brand new GAPS diet that heals the gut lining, restores the correct balance of intestinal bacteria, and relieves the body of toxins, which helps to resolve existing imbalance and prevents further damage.

Week 1:

Ever since I can remember, when someone was ill in my house chicken soup was always the #1 rejuvenating food that could help them restore their health. Well, as it turns out the main food on GAPS is of course homemade soup, made from natural homemade bone broth that is full of nutrients and minerals.

Our first day with 11 people on the diet was not pretty. We started off with a 24 hour soup fast, which had been so detoxifying that I had a low blood sugar of 56, was unable to walk without getting dizzy or lightheaded, and highly nauseated. As the day passed, we longed for some solid food, but somehow we made it through.

The next day I was still experiencing the same results, but I added in boiled meats and refused to eat any more soup because of my strong reaction. We decided that for me, our goal would be to build up to three bowls of soup a day.

Week 2:

The first week went by slowly, and by the second week, after some more detox, I was eating three bowls of pureed soup a day with still some effects afterwards. Everybody was at different stages in the diet. For some, they jumped right into raw vegetables and other foods, for others they are at the stage where only soup, probiotic foods, and boiled meats are allowed, like me.

It was hard to concentrate when our tutor came to the house to teach us. Often, I was too weak and had to go rest.

The Final Weeks:

After the first two weeks ended, the detoxing symptoms began to become less severe. Still unable to move forward to the next stages, I am eating three bowls of pureed soup a day with boiled meats and steamed veggies.

For my younger brothers, I am their personal chef at lunch and cook them meals like vegetable stir fry and many others that I occasionally take a sample knowing that I will experience some effects afterwards.

As the first month passes, I know that in time I will be healthy again, but for now I am taking it slow, one bowl of pureed soup at a time.

The Finish Line

2010-06-03T15:14:00.014-07:00

I apologize for not writing on the blog for a while, I haven't had any writing inspiration lately. But a thought came to me today that related to my family's situation and many others that are going through struggles.

When some people run a race they run faster for the trophy at the end, but for others they run all the way to the end for the satisfaction of saying , I made it, I'm done, I'm at the finish line.

So, here we are running this race, pushing along, jumping every hurdle that comes our way, but when a hurdle arrives that we can't jump, we can choose to find a way around it or give up.

For my family and I, we are still running that race, dodging those hurdles, but we haven't lost hope.

I speak to all of those people who are struggling when I say, don't ever give up, just imagine the finish line, imagine the satisfaction of making it through because you will make it.

5 Helpful Tips to Improve Your Health

2010-03-16T16:28:00.029-07:00

People all around the world want to improve their health, but they don't know where to start. Do you start with medical prescriptions? Or maybe even a low carb diet? Who really knows? All of the information I can give is some tips to improve your health.

1. Take out all processed and refined foods/drinks

(Processed and refined foods make the body work hard, therefore causing a stress on the immune system. It is very important that you eat organic or raw foods because of the chemicals used when a refined food is processed. Canned foods, boxed foods, or any other foods/drinks that contain additives such as MSG, high fructose corn syrup, and sugar are all processed and refined foods/drinks.)

2. Exercise often

(Not only does exercise improve your weight it also improves your mood, fights off chronic diseases, helps high blood pressure, and helps move the lymphatic system. Because the lymphatic system is not connected to the heart, it depends on exercise and other things to keep it moving.Activity activates many brain chemicals, causing you to be happier and more relaxed than you were before.)

3. Drink a lot of water

(All of us need water. After all our bodies are made up of 70% water and all of our systems yearn for it to function. Water flows nutrients to all of our cells, flushes toxins from our kidneys, assists the digestive track, regulates temperature, and helps many other things in the body.)

4. Read labels carefully

(A couple days ago my mom could not make a trip to Jamba Juice to get me a smoothie. We were in Safeway and instead she got me an Odwalla juice. Happily I sat in the car sipping a little bit at a time. In the middle of the car ride my mom read the label on the back. She read that it had evaporated cane juice, a.k.a refined sugar. We learned from this experience that we must always read labels carefully although some of the ingredients are misleading.)

5. Be aware of surrounding air

(Our story speaks for itself on this tip.)

When we were going through a rough time, these tips would have helped us realize what we can do for our health and I hope that you are one step ahead of what we were.

Another Anniversary

2010-02-04T17:22:00.007-07:00

My family has had several Anniversaries to celebrate this year. There's of course our parent's anniversary, our 1 year (since leaving the house) anniversary, and our latest anniversary, leaving the rental home that had been sprayed with pesticides.

That week was our worst nightmare...

First we moved in and LOVED the house. (It had 6 bedrooms, a pool, and a guest house)

Second we couldn't breathe after one night of staying there. (Our throats closed up because of the pesticides sprayed throughout the house)

Third we slept outside although they had sprayed pesticides out there as well. (Some of us felt safer outside because of the amount sprayed inside)

Fourth we vacated the home leaving our father to do his radio show in the guest house. (My dad had to do his radio show and claimed that he didn't react to the house)

Finally we lived off of hotels for several more weeks. (For my birthday I spent my time searching for houses to rent temporarily)

With our words we lived it all over again last night. We remebered hotel after hotel, my dad's work, and the complication of it all.

Now that another anniversary has passed, time goes on and the road to recovery gets closer to being paved.

Almost Paved

2010-01-15T08:32:00.002-07:00

On Wednesday I celebrated my 3 week anniversary for my broken collarbone. I was running on a hiking trail and lost my footing. 3 weeks down 3 to go.

At first it seemed like another bump in the road, but after the first couple days we started thinking that the break happened for good.

"Mom, since my collarbone is broken it gives a break from my symptoms." I said expressing my thoughts as I always do.

In a way I was right. Instead of focusing on my symptoms and noting them for my next Acupuncture visit, I have something else to worry about now.

Everything is back to normal now. I am back to focusing on my symptoms and noting them for my next Acupuncture appointment.

But I'm sure this break happened for a reason as everything else in life does.

I realized something this week. When we vacated our home it was like a road fell apart and needed repaving. Now that we are coming closer to recovery the road is getting closer to pavement. We just need to wait until the road is safe to drive on.

Poems

2009-12-22T11:53:00.002-07:00

Recently I have been really interested in poetry. I wrote a few in the last couple weeks and I am eager to share them with you guys.

My Hero

To see him you may not know
That inside he is filled with grief
His bravery is below
The heartache that is shown so brief

Having him close by
Makes fear depart with ease
On him I can rely
More than the endless seas

Hidden beneath his grey hair
Is sorrow of a noble man
Who sits in his dusty chair
Thinking of how it began

Christmas Time

It's Christmas time
Come one, come all
The church bells chime
Hear theit call

A white blanket covers
The autum leaves that drop
An icy chill discovers
A glistening treetop

Too soon Christmas passes by
The streets are busy no more
Our sorrow is hard to deny,
But our gifts are hard to ignore

My Mom

The swish of her black house shoes
And her house with splendid views

Sitting at her laptop typing away
Practically every day

Wiping down the smooth granite counter tops
And scrupping the floors with drenched mops

Writing Progress

2009-12-03T12:24:00.006-07:00

Recently we have had a tutor come to our home to teach us for three hours. From 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. we are being taught reading, math, vocabulary, and writing. Compared to the writing piece I did this summer about Mimi I can see definite progress through this one.

Based off of the writing piece I did this summer I wrote this piece shortly after we had the tutor come to our home. The prompt was to write a memory and grab the readers attention. So I did the best I could. To read my old piece see my October 5th entry.

As my grandmother walked along the beach beside me we watched the waves crash reaching our feet. We dug our toes into the sand as we sat down watching the waves of the ocean. Her short, silver hair blew in the wind as she gazed out over the sea.

"Mimi, you coming?" I said sticking my feet into the ocean.

"I will be there in a second." she said.

As I floated along the surface of the ocean I felt the waves grow bigger underneath me. They thrusted me forward until I reached the shallow end. I fell down feeling the sand and the sea shells at my feet. The salt water filled up in my nostrils while I got pulled under. Mimi walked over to me stepping into the ocean as she chuckled. We both laughed happily until our cheeks were sore. As we looked out further than anybody can see we saw figures swimming among the surface of the sea.

"Dolphins!" I yelled in excitement.

"Wow! They are so pretty." Mimi said looking at me.

Staying at the beach, my family enjoyed the day as it flew by. We watched the sun sink creating beautiful colors in the sky. We ate our dinner laughing, smiling, and talking. Sometimes when I think back to this memory I can see Mimi smiling from up above.

I will always remember Mimi. I always have and I always will.

Privileges

2009-11-10T10:14:00.012-07:00

The other day I asked my mom if she would rather have the knowledge of Toxic exposures or of Chinese Medicine.

"Well... that's a hard one." She said trying to find the right answer.

Finally finding the correct answer she said, "It's a privilege to have the knowledge of both Chinese medicine and Toxic exposures."

When we left our house back in Colorado we opened up an infinite amount of possibilities. If we didn't leave our house we wouldn't be here with this knowledge that we have now. We left with decisions to make, belongings to buy, and recoveries to make.

Every day we learn new things. Just in this past couple weeks we have had several lessons that needed to be learned. We started a new diet that doesn't cut out carbs, we get more and more exercise each day, and we have a teacher coming to our house every day. We discovered foods like Quinoa (the source of protein), Adzuki beans (to dry dampness in our bodies ), and Mung beans (the De-tox beans). Our condition of dampness (the climate in our body) was caused by our exposure to mold. Living off of meats, vegetables, and of course these super foods makes it easier to slowly make our way back to normal health.

Along with the diet we have our supplements daily. Our two new supplements are Spirulina and carrot juice (juiced from our juicer).

As we come closer to recovery, we realize these privileges that we receive in life and use them to help others.

Baseball

2009-11-05T08:57:00.006-07:00

Despite all of the big things that we own the small things are the most precious.

Instead of playing with a big toy that would mean the world to an average 8 year old, my younger brother plays with a drumstick and a duct tape ball every day. We use the drumstick as a bat, a duct tape ball as a baseball, and other duct tape products that we use for bases. It is a game similar to Baseball except we make up the rules as we go along.

Last night was the last game of the World Series for the professional Baseball league. While my three brothers and I watched the Baseball game we assembled our own little game that we would never want to stop.

"Okay, your the Phillies and we're the Rockies." My brother said.

Of course, we agreed and started the first inning of the game. For a few moments in between every pitch we would stop to watch the World Series and return to our own game.

After a few innings my brother and I were falling behind.

When we got into the 5Th inning my dad said, "Okay, let's wrap up the game. This will be the last inning."

Of course, we argued but it was no use.

Like the Yankees, my brother and I ended up winning at that last inning.

While the Yankees are celebrating their victory we look forward to another game of Baseball.

"Little Things"

2009-10-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

There are so many "little things" in life. It is the "little things" that are the most memorable, the "little things" that make you laugh, and the "little things" that make you smile when you look back at them.

Yesterday we were driving in the car on our way to acupuncture listening to the same CD that had Jackie Blue in it. Hoping that it would come on I sat on the edge of my seat as we came closer to home. Finally, a guitar solo came on, and I knew that it must be Jackie Blue. My mom turned around and smiled at me as she started to sing along and flick her wrist. I will always remember this song as one of the "little things" that make me smile.

Every day we all try to impress our mom by asking her for our supplements. She always responds by saying, "thank you" because she knows that it is important for us to remember the supplements that we're supposed to take. One day I will look back at this "little thing" and smile.

My younger brother has a talented mind. He loves to dance and mouth to songs, especially Michael Jackson songs. He memorizes all of the words and likes to "perform" the song in front of my family. Beat It is his favorite. In the living room of our house he is at his own little concert. Someday he will use his talent towards something amazing. I will always admire him for his imaginative, talented mind.

Despite all of the "big things" happening, the "little things" stick out to me the most. I will always hold onto these "little things" in my memory, and someday I will look back and smile at this time that we were all together experiencing these "little things".

Supplements

2009-10-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

Every day I plug my nose getting ready to gulp down any supplement that is put out for me. Each time I keep in mind that it is good for me, but sometimes it is easy to forget.

In the morning I take my Herb, IntraMax, and I drink carrot juice freshly made from our juicer. The carrot juice has ginger and garlic in it. IntraMax is a drink with tons of vitamins and minerals. My Herb is filled with things to help me with different symptoms that I am having.

When I see my mom on the computer she is usually on her blog, email, or ordering a supplement online. We are always trying new things to help us get better.

The other big part of my day is the food that we eat. With our food sensitivity we haven't been having much luck with finding food, but we have discovered that Bacon is our main source of meat for breakfast. Along with the bacon we have our supplements and make a Fruit Smoothie that contains yogurt, fruit, and water.

As the day passes we run for 30 minutes and come in for lunch. For lunch our normal meal is nitrate free, gluten free, and chemical free hot dogs with fruit.

Then there comes the third meal of the day, dinner. Our main source of food for dinner is any type of meat with some vegetables.

As we get closer to recovery I realize that this road is going to be very long, but at the end of the road we will reach something beautiful.

Mold Scare

2009-10-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that we have stayed in this house for about 2 months, but those 2 months haven't been the easiest. On August 10th we started to clean the house preparing for our move. For the first time in a long time we felt safe, and happy.

"Mom I can still smell something but I don't know what it is." My sister said after coming home from cleaning.

"I just hope that this is a good house." She responded.

We still moved in hoping that we would be able to stay in the same house for at least more than 3 days. But with our head held high we moved in like regular people hoping that we could stay.

After a couple weeks we were satisfied. We decided that it was a good, clean house.

But just to be cautious we put mold plates out in the bathrooms, kitchen, and a couple bedrooms. After hearing that we had more mold colonies than we could tolerate we gathered around in a circle debating whether or not we should bring our belongings with us. We made a few calls checking what they thought about the mold.

The next day we thought that we wouldn't be staying in the house until we decided to test the air, but to do that we had to find someone we could trust. Spending the right amount of money we had an inspector come to inspect the house and test the air.

With our fingers crossed we waited for the test results to come back. Finally, we got our test results back. Indeed it was the outside air that the mold plates picked up. With our great test results we were able to stay in a mold free, chemical free, and a safe environment surrounding us.

Our Couch

2009-10-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

When we moved into our new home after the chemical exposure we desperately needed one thing, a couch.

After the chemical exposure we struggled to keep everything, but we lost our toys, our new mattresses, and other belongings that couldn't be washed. You would find us at the store buying air mattresses, new sheets, and covers. With only our clothes it seemed to be simple to move in, but instead it was the hardest move ever. Going back and forth my father gathered our belongings that we stored in our garage. My dad brought back our mattresses in hope that we could keep them. Unfortunately after wiping the mattresses down with gallons of vinegar and baking soda we had to give up.

A few weeks after we moved in we were equipped with a table from our landlord, air mattresses, and camping chairs. The only things that we needed to get were real chairs and a couch.

On our small T.V and sitting in our camping chairs we were able to watch the Academy Awards while nebulizing. Usually the Oscars were the big event where beforehand we would guess which nominee would win the Oscar. In our house who ever won, got a card to Blockbuster to get a movie or two.

The next few days passed and we still didn't have a couch or chairs. We finally put the past behind us and searched to find the right couch that wasn't treated with chemicals. When we were out we found a huge couch that seemed to be chemical free. Trying to get it over and done with we signed the papers and had the couch delivered.

After the couch was delivered we had a couple nosebleeds and some respiratory problems. We looked at the couch in horror because of all of the trouble we went through to try to get a big, chemical free couch. Devastated, we called the company and they said that it had been treated with chemicals.

Renting another U-Haul, my dad took the couch back where it belonged.

I have learned that there are a lot investments made when you are recovering, but in the end it is all worth it.

Jackie Blue

2009-10-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

Wednesday we all piled in the car to go to our biggest outing, Acupuncture. On our way out my mom grabbed a CD that my sister made her.

"Have Fun!" I heard my sister say.

When we all pile in our car getting ready for Acupuncture we always are prepared with snacks,
things to do, and music for the car. We all sat in silence listening to song after song. You could tell that my mom liked some of the songs because she sang along.

I watched the mountains slip away from my sight, the birds chirping happily, and the saguaros disappear.

I kept sitting in silence as we entered the city until a song came on called Jackie Blue.

"I loved this when I was 15!" My mom said in shock.

She started flicking her wrist along to the beat, bobbing her head, and sang along.

"Ooh-hoo Jackie Blue." She sang.

We all started to sing along with our mother happily.

"Ooh-hoo Jackie Blue" We all said in unison.

The song ended and my mom said, "We are listening to that on our way home."

As we listened to the song on our way home I thought about moments like this.

It is moments like these that are the greatest. You don't need something fancy all you need is your family.

Another House

2009-10-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

It's been two months living in this new house. Two months of unpacking, cleaning, and meeting new people.

After we left our home on October 4Th, 2008 we rented 4 houses, 1 vacation rental, and slept in several hotels. This is yet another house to live in, another house to name, and another house to remember. We will always remember the house before this one because all 9 of us were sleeping in one room, but still had space to fit another person.

Coming to Arizona we would never guess that we would be staying for another year. It was a miracle when we moved into our first vacation rental. The house had four bedrooms, a pool, and a big laundry room. Of course, that was before we knew that we were chemically sensitive.

Finally, after searching for 2 weeks in the vacation rental we found a house that seemed to be perfect. After reuniting with my father we started moving in. The first night we slept in our rooms thinking healing thoughts. My brother woke up with a nosebleed after sleeping with his other brother in their room. After we ate our morning meals we went off into the real world.

That day my brother ended up having seven nosebleeds in all.

As a family we all watched the Super Bowl as the players struggle to get to the touchdown zone. That night we noticed that our throats started to close up and the nosebleeds continued to happen. A few of us even slept outside thinking that it would help our throats.

By the next day we were off staying in hotel after hotel while my dad worked in the office of the house because we found out that they had sprayed for termites inside and out.

After searching and searching, week after week of hotels we finally found a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home.

Finally, we are all together in a mold free, chemical free home that pleases us very much.

Miss Bobbie and Maggie

2009-10-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

In the previous year we have tried many times to get me a good horse that I don't react to. We tried twice and finally gave up.

My first encounter with a horse was a small mare named Miss Bobbie. We had gone to the horse stables to sign up for horseback riding. Planning on the next morning to be my first lesson; I walked over to stroke Miss Bobbie.

When I started to sneeze my instructor said, "Are you allergic?"

"I don't think so." I said hopping into our mini van.

As we drove off in the car my eyes began to swell up, my nose began to run, and hives came up all over my arm. When we got home we got the Benadryl out, the nasal sprays, and I jumped in the shower to get all of the dander off of me.

A few days after that experience I finally had recovered.

Months later I went to a farm where I successfully stroked their horse named Maggie. For the first time I didn't react after petting the horse, so we decided to try taking lessons there.

The first lesson was for an hour of grooming, saddling up, and riding. Of course after grooming I had gotten hives all over my arms in the same places where I had gotten the hives from Miss Bobbie.

My throat started closing up, my nose closed up, and my rash kept getting worse. After my reaction was over we decided to not give up and keep trying. We went to the store, buying gloves, a helmet, and boots to keep me from reacting to the horse.

The next weeks of horseback riding were not quite as bad as a reaction as the first time, but I still took nasal sprays, wore gloves, and wore long sleeves in the 100 degree heat to prevent me from reacting. After I started to get the trotting down I started to gallop. Each day I would wake up with my muscles tight and tense until the point where we had to give up.

Through these experiences I have decided that only when I fully recover I will start doing horseback riding lessons again.

Unforgettable

2009-10-06T17:43:00.000-07:00

After the mold exposure, my dad wrote on his blog about my pets. The night before he wrote on his blog, we had all heard my brother say, "I want my diabetic buddy back." Of course, he had meant one of my dogs who had diabetes.

When I read my dad's post on his blog, I immediately wrote another writing piece.

"Sometimes words get to you. For the first time you get a glimpse of the past, the present, and the future. You realize what has happened, what is happening, and what is going to happen. I've always been afraid of death, but for the first time I feel hope, forgiveness, and happiness because I realize that I have got a family close to me no matter what. Life seems peaceful now, but at the same time it feels harder than ever. There are some things in life unforgettable. Loosing 3 loved and loving pets are some things that are unforgettable. But we as a family should never give up what we have started.

There is always a story behind your beloved ones. When I would wake up in the morning I would have a glimpse of happiness. My bird chirping, my two dogs barking, and petting my two dogs are glimpses of happiness. Those unforgettable memories brought us happiness."

After I had written this I was so happy with myself. I expressed had myself through my writing, and that made me happy.

There are so many unforgettable memories in life, but sometimes the special unforgettable memories are the sad ones.

Sometimes I can hear the dogs barking, my bird chirping, and feel the dogs' soft fur on my hands, but I know that they are in a happy place looking down on us running free.

Acupuncture

2009-10-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

Each week is different for me. There is always something to look forward to. Every week we head out ready for our biggest outing, Acupuncture.

Acupuncture helps me with all of my specific symptoms that need to be treated. Without using any chemicals Acupuncture allows the body to heal. You can see why we look forward to it every week.

Today my dad showed my mom bruises at every point where the Acupuncture needles went. We gathered around looking at his bruises in awe.

"Wow!" I heard my mom say.

"That shows how sensitive you are!" My sister added.

Unlike other Acupuncturists ours carries Chinese Herbs as well. Chinese Herbs are a traditional Chinese medicine. Made by the elements of nature, the Chinese Herbs are all natural.

Every time we come back from Acupuncture we come back with something positive to say.

"My sinuses are better." I heard my sister say.

"My knee doesn't hurt anymore."

"I am happier than before."

I look forward to Acupuncture every week hoping that there is something positive to say each time.

Mimi's Ocean

2009-10-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

Over the Summer I took a writing class, and I have decided to share a piece with you.

One of our assignments was to pick a color and write about what that color reminds you of. I picked up the color blue and immediately started writing.

"As my grandmother walked along the beach beside me, we watched the waves of the ocean as they crash reaching our feet. Of course, when I pick up the color blue it reminds me of this time when my grandmother and I went to the beach together in Naples, Florida. Everything about blue reminds me of my grandma and the ocean.

After we were finished with our walk I was eager to float on the surface of the ocean, feeling the calm waves underneath me. The day flew by, and we sat enjoying the on the beach, eating our dinner, laughing, smiling, and talking."

I call this piece Mimi's Ocean.

Reading this makes me realize how special Mimi was, and sometimes I can see her smiling at me from up above.

Memories, and Lessons

2009-10-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

It has been one year since I left my home back in Colorado. Last night we gathered around as a family remembering the night before we left. We thought back to all of the people who were so generous to us, all of the sadness, and all of the decisions. As I left for a sleepover the night before, I didn't know that I wouldn't return home.

We all gathered around for a "family meeting" recalling the time that we had left.

My dad had said, "Everyone think of at least one good thing that has happened in this past year."

As I thought back through the year, trying to find something positive, nothing could come to mind. So many memories flashed through my mind. My dogs, my bird, and all of my other precious belongings still, to this day lie in the deserted house.

"We have a doctor we can trust."

"My skin is better."

"I can sleep longer."

I was amazed to learn that there were so many positive memories beneath the negative ones.

Although not everything is perfect, there are some positive things about this year. Not all of my symptoms are completely gone, but I have learned new things from those symptoms.

To me, our life is like a Rose. After we left the house the pedals started to fall off one by one, but then they grew back to make the flower prettier than before.

I learned, through this experience many valuable lessons, and that leaving our home was the best thing we could do for ourselves.